Welcome to the golden years, where we finally have the time to sit back and observe the whirlwind of modern life.
While we love our kids and grandkids, sometimes we can’t help but scratch our heads at the current state of affairs.
We aren’t trying to be grumpy. We are just genuinely perplexed by some of these new habits.
Here are 35 things we secretly (or not so secretly) think are absolutely ridiculous.
35. TikTok dances
We grew up doing the Twist and the Hustle at actual parties with friends.
Now, we see people propping up phones in grocery store aisles to wiggle their arms.
It looks like they are trying to shoo away a swarm of invisible bees.
Why does everyone need to see the same thirty-second routine a million times?
We prefer dancing when there is a band and a dance floor, not a tripod.
34. Talking to your phone instead of a person
There was a time when talking to yourself in public meant people would cross the street to avoid you.
Now, everyone is walking around holding their phone like a piece of toast, chatting with a robot.
It feels like the human element has been replaced by a piece of glass and some circuits.
We miss the days when you actually looked a cashier in the eye and said hello.
33. Paying for water in bottles
Water used to be the one thing in life that was free and came right out of the tap.
Now, people spend three dollars on a plastic bottle that ends up in a landfill. It’s literally the same stuff that falls from the sky for free.
We remember when a garden hose was the ultimate refreshment on a hot summer afternoon.
Paying for “premium” hydration feels like the greatest marketing trick in history.
32. Taking photos of your food
In our day, if you pulled out a camera at the dinner table, it was for a birthday or a holiday.
Now, the meal gets cold while everyone finds the perfect lighting for their mashed potatoes.
Just eat the steak before the fat congeals, for heaven’s sake!
Nobody is going to look at that blurry photo of your lasagna three weeks from now.
31. Influencers as a “career”
We remember when a career meant having an office, a boss, and a steady paycheck.
Now, kids want to be “influencers” by filming themselves trying on clothes in their bedrooms.
What exactly are you influencing besides my blood pressure?
We’ll stick to the traditional 9-to-5 where you actually produce something tangible.
30. Wearing pajamas in public
There was a time when leaving the house required a certain level of decorum and a pair of real trousers.
Seeing people at the bank in flannel pants and slippers makes us want to hand them a robe.
It’s like the whole world decided to just give up on getting dressed.
We aren’t asking for three-piece suits, but maybe leave the “Sleepy Bear” pants at home.
29. Calling everything “toxic”
Back then, something was toxic if it was a chemical spill or a bad batch of potato salad.
Today, a disagreement over a movie choice makes a relationship “toxic.” It feels like a very dramatic word for just being slightly annoyed with someone.
We used to call it “having a personality clash” and moved on with our lives.
Not every negative experience needs a clinical label and a dramatic exit.
28. Subscription for everything
We liked it better when you bought a lawnmower or a movie once and owned it forever.
Now, you have to pay a monthly fee just to keep your doorbell working or your heated seats on. It’s like being nibbled to death by ducks, one ten-dollar charge at a time.
Pretty soon, we’ll be paying a subscription just to breathe the air in the gym.
27. Not answering phone calls
We see you holding your phone in your hand while it rings, just staring at it like it’s an alien.
If you have the time to watch it ring, you have the time to say “hello.”
Sending a text to say you can’t talk is more work than just talking!
The phone was invented to facilitate conversation, not to be a high-tech paperweight. We miss hearing a voice on the other end instead of a gray bubble.
26. Gender reveal parties
In our day, the doctor told you the news and you called your mother to celebrate.
Now, people are burning down forests with blue smoke or exploding giant glitter cakes.
The child isn’t even here yet, and they already have a social media presence.
Just tell us if we need to buy blue or pink booties and call it a day.
25. Avocado toast obsession
We like avocados as much as the next person, especially in a nice bowl of guacamole.
But paying twenty dollars for a piece of bread with smashed fruit on it is highway robbery.
That’s basically the cost of a full Sunday roast with all the fixings!
It’s a mystery how this became the definitive meal of an entire generation.
24. Needing Wi-Fi everywhere
We remember going on vacation specifically to get away from the world and enjoy the view.
Now, the first thing people ask when they enter a cabin in the woods is the password.
What happened to looking at the trees or talking to the person next to you?
The internet will still be there when you get back to the city, we promise.
23. Posting every life moment online
Some things are meant to be private, like your morning coffee or a minor argument with your spouse.
We don’t need a play-by-play of your trip to the dentist or your gym routine.
Whatever happened to “keeping it to yourself” and having a little mystery?
We prefer keeping our memories in a shoe box, not on a public server.
22. Cancel culture
We used to allow people to make mistakes, learn from them, and move forward with their lives.
Now, one wrong word from 1994 can get you banished from society forever. It feels a bit like a digital witch hunt with no room for an apology.
Whatever happened to “forgive and forget” or just changing the channel?
21. Fancy coffee names
We just want a cup of coffee, black, without having to learn a second language to order.
A “venti double-shot soy macchiato” sounds more like a chemistry experiment than a breakfast drink.
And why does it cost as much as a small appliance at the hardware store?
Coffee is supposed to wake you up, not require a financial advisor to purchase.
20. Working from bed
We were taught that the bed is for sleeping and the desk is for working hard.
Seeing a young professional in their pajamas with a laptop under the covers is mind-boggling.
It seems like a recipe for a very messy life and a very sore back.
We’ll stick to an office chair where the boundary between “on” and “off” is clear.
19. Using filters on every photo
We have seen so many photos of people with dog ears or skin as smooth as a mannequin.
What happened to having wrinkles that show you’ve actually lived a full and happy life? It’s getting hard to recognize people when you see them in the actual flesh.
Why try to look like a cartoon when you could just look like a human?
18. Saying “I can’t adult today”
Adulthood isn’t a hobby you can just opt out of when the mood strikes you.
We didn’t get to “not adult” when the mortgage was due or the kids needed lunch.
It’s called life, and most of it involves doing things you don’t really want to do.
We just call “adulting” being a responsible person who gets the job done.
17. Therapy speak in everyday talk
Suddenly, everyone is “holding space,” “setting boundaries,” and “processing their triggers” during a simple lunch.
We used to just call it “having a chat” and “getting over it” eventually.
It feels like everyone is trying to sound like a psychology textbook lately.
Sometimes a bad mood is just a bad mood, not a deep-seated emotional trauma.
16. Buying digital items in games
Paying real, hard-earned money for a “skin” or a virtual hat that doesn’t exist is wild.
You can’t wear it, you can’t touch it, and you certainly can’t sell it later.
We remember when you bought a game and everything you needed was already in the box.
Now, you’re paying five dollars for your digital character to have a fancy cape.
15. Standing desks
We spent our entire careers looking forward to the day we could finally sit down. Now, people are paying extra money to stand up while they type their emails.
It looks like a very slow and boring way to run a marathon at work.
If we wanted to stand all day, we would have gone into retail or construction.
14. Charging for online courses on basic skills
We’ve seen people selling “masterclasses” on how to organize a closet or boil an egg.
We used to call that “asking your mother” or just using some common sense.
The internet is full of people charging a premium for things you can learn for free.
It’s amazing what people will pay for if you give it a fancy marketing name.
13. Unboxing videos
Why would we want to watch someone else open a package that we didn’t buy?
It’s like watching someone else open their Christmas presents while you sit in the corner.
The excitement is in the “doing,” not the “watching” from behind a screen.
Just open the box, use the product, and get on with your afternoon.
12. Wearing headphones all day
People walk around in a complete bubble, totally unaware of the world around them.
You could say “good morning” and they wouldn’t hear you over their heavy bass.
It feels a bit rude to be permanently tuned out of the social environment.
It’s hard to make a human connection when everyone has white plastic in their ears.
11. Talking about “personal brand”
You are a human being with a personality, not a corporation with a logo and tagline.
Since when did we all need to market ourselves like a new flavor of soda?
It feels so calculated and artificial to treat your life like a marketing campaign.
Just be a good person. You don’t need a brand identity to do that.
10. Side hustles for everything
Whatever happened to having a hobby just because you actually enjoyed doing it?
Now, if you knit a sweater or bake a cake, you’re expected to start an online store.
Life shouldn’t be a constant race to monetize every single second of your free time.
Sometimes it’s okay to just do something poorly and for absolutely no money at all.
We like our hobbies to be relaxing, not another source of professional stress.
9. Minimalism as a trend
People are paying decorators to come in and take away all of their comfortable furniture.
They live in white boxes with one single succulent and a very hard wooden chair.
We spent years collecting memories, and we aren’t about to toss them for a trend.
Give us a cozy recliner and a full bookshelf over a “minimalist” void any day.
8. Calling pets “fur babies”
We love our dogs and cats, but we are under no illusion that we gave birth to them.
A dog is a wonderful companion, but it’s still an animal that eats off the floor.
Calling yourself a “dog mom” feels like it’s taking the metaphor just a bit too far.
We remember when pets stayed in the yard and didn’t have their own strollers.
They are part of the family, sure, but they aren’t actual human infants.
7. Not knowing basic life skills
It’s shocking to see adults who can’t change a tire, sew a button, or cook a meal.
They have the entire world’s knowledge in their pockets but can’t fix a leaky faucet.
We took pride in being able to handle the small “break-fix” moments of everyday life.
It’s a bit ridiculous to call a professional for a task that takes five minutes.
6. Texting instead of talking
A thirty-minute text chain could usually be solved with a quick thirty-second phone call.
We spend so much time typing with our thumbs and waiting for those little dots.
You can’t hear tone or sarcasm in a text, which leads to so many misunderstandings.
Just pick up the phone and use your voice to clear things up immediately.
5. Posting gym workouts
We go to the gym to stay healthy and keep our joints moving, not for a photoshoot.
Seeing someone set up a camera to film their squats is the height of vanity.
Nobody at the office cares how much weight you moved on a Tuesday morning.
Just lift the heavy things, wipe down the equipment, and go home to your family.
Newsflash: the workout still counts even if you don’t show the entire internet your sweat.
4. Viral challenges
From eating laundry detergent to dancing beside moving cars, these “challenges” are just plain dangerous.
We used to do dares, but they usually didn’t involve a trip to the emergency room.
It seems like a desperate cry for attention that defies all logic and self-preservation.
We’ll stick to the challenge of finishing the Sunday crossword without looking up the answers.
3. Recording concerts instead of watching them
You paid hundreds of dollars for a seat, yet you’re watching the show through a tiny screen.
Your shaky, distorted video will never capture the feeling of being there in the moment.
And let’s be honest: you are never, ever going to watch that footage again.
Put the phone in your pocket and let the music wash over you like it’s intended.
The best memories aren’t stored in a cloud. They are stored in your actual brain.
2. Fancy dog food menus
We’ve seen restaurants that have literal “bistro menus” for dogs with organic chicken and kale.
Our dogs were perfectly happy with a bowl of kibble and the occasional table scrap.
It’s a dog. It will literally eat a discarded shoe if you let it.
Spending forty dollars on a “canine tenderloin” seems like a bit of an overreach.
We love our four-legged friends, but they don’t need a culinary degree to be happy.
1. Saying “it’s giving…”
Giving what? The sentence feels like it’s missing the most important part at the very end!
We keep waiting for the speaker to finish the thought, but they just stop right there.
It’s one of those phrases that makes us feel like we’re listening to a different language.
We prefer using full sentences that actually describe what is happening in the world.
Charles Jacobs